Two scientists walk into a bar:

"I’ll have an H2O."

"I’ll have an H2O, too."

The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position as well as pragmatic context.

(Source: notallwugs, via serenajayde)

33,550 notes
Your mother did not raise you with a wolf in your chest so you could howl over losing a man.

(Source: pluiedem, via anditslove)

140,271 notes

.rar means i love you in file compression

(Source: noooooooope, via daeneryus)

12,860 notes
Marry your best friend. Fooling around is fun, but life gets in the way and when it gets hard, you’d wanna be married to your best friend.

(Source: assachusetts, via kmots)

272,832 notes

remember when you put your glasses on for the first time and you realized you could see leaves on trees

(Source: glutenfreewaffles, via prisonerofsanity)

365,873 notes

Suddenly you’re 21 and you’re screaming along in your car to all the songs you used to listen to when you were sad in middle school and everything is different but everything is good

(Source: theheatofthesouth, via kmots)

145,361 notes